“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
— Genesis 50:20 (KJV)
I want to be clear: I struggle with my faith. I am in no way trying to pretend that I am a scholar, or that I understand it all, but this process has brought me to search for truth, for meaning, for redemption. Whether you believe in God or you don’t, the Bible has so many profound stories about the human condition — psychology, our emotional responses, how they make us feel, our fears, our doubts, our insecurities, our suffering. I think that’s why the book has remained timeless: because it cuts directly to any situation any human being has ever been in.
When I saw this passage, it hit me like a shot. While I take 100% ownership of everything that happened to me, that doesn’t mean that I forgive those who trespass against us. That doesn’t mean that I can’t see the flaws inherent in the system, the flaws inherent in humans — friends, family members, loved ones.
But as I wrestle every single day with how I feel versus how I wish I felt, I know that I’m not always going to make the right choice, despite trying my best. I also know that there is source material out there that I can use to help. My problems, my troubles, your problems, your troubles — they’re not unique. Many men and women throughout history have faced them time and time again. So drawing upon their wisdom and their experience can help ease my suffering, and yours.
A Good Man, Betrayed by His Own Brothers
Going back to Genesis: this idea that Joseph, a good man, was betrayed by the brothers closest to him hits me very hard. What I find beautiful — and it moved me to tears — is how Joseph, despite the fact that he was sold into slavery many years ago, actually went on to accomplish many great things by helping so many in deep need.
Not only is that beautiful, but specifically the idea that the betrayal and the suffering is the fuel, the asset that is used to lever Joseph into helping those others. The part that I yearn for, that I want, but that I know as a man I am far too weak for, is what Joseph says to his brothers when he finally gets face to face with them: although they intended to do evil upon him, God intended for him a greater goal, a greater purpose. What he went through was okay because of that bigger purpose from God. He acknowledges that they betrayed him and that there was suffering. He doesn’t minimize it — but he wins. He triumphs over all of that.
Revenge Is the Dark Side
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent countless hours lying in bed, or maybe driving in traffic, thinking, stewing, ruminating — hell, even marinating — in this seething bit of anger over how you’ll get ’em. Right? Like, “Oh, here’s the comeback I should have said, and here’s the zinger I’m gonna say when they say this. I’m going to hit them with that.” Revenge is intoxicating. It’s so alluring, it just draws you in. The taste of wanting to beat them, wanting to overcome them, wanting to win — yes, it feels so powerful.
I kind of view this as the dark side from Star Wars. Christians may call it Satan — this emotional electricity that rips up the body. Gosh, it gives me the chills. I get so excited to fire back with these incredible zingers I’ve made up in these scenarios in my head, at how I’m gonna beat this person. Now I’m gonna grow my business a certain way and then use those resources to do that, or if I ever see them in public, I’m gonna do this.
I’ve created all these elaborate fantasies for things that have never happened, things that will never come to pass. You can see how someone can be attracted to the dark side, because it’s emotionally powerful and gives you so much energy and vitriol. You can also see that same storytelling — whether it’s the Bible or Star Wars — as actually the dark path that leads to sadness, to depression, to loneliness, and to anxiety.
The Higher Path
It’s through the acknowledgement, the overcoming, the rising above, and then using that to serve others — that’s the higher level I’m trying to achieve. It’s so vividly clear, whether you’re looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi or you’re looking at Joseph. The story is timeless because it is true.