For some people who have never had anything to really redeem themselves from, there seems to be a belief that the “redeemer” has a vision, a goal, or some future north-star guiding light that pulls them forward like a tractor beam. Hollywood has created the montage that suggests the redeemer can see a future version that nobody else can. They see what can’t be seen, and because it’s so vivid and inevitable, it gives the person superhuman drive towards this goal where the future is bright and rosy.
Cue up the Rocky montage training clips, with the sweaty sparring matches, the gratuitous push-ups, and the against-all-odds inspirational music. This is a highly romanticized, condensed version, and as real as an aging starlet’s face.
For the people who have gone through some shit, they are completely stunned when someone — their fellow man, a peer — mounts an epic comeback and actually does it. The idea that someone saddled with this much mental and emotional baggage can get out of bed in the morning and pay their bills is an achievement. They understand deep down in their guts the tolls of shame, embarrassment, and bitter resentment — the “I coulda been a contender” type of attitude. This feeling that if this “one thing” hadn’t happened to me, I could have made something of myself.
But life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.
Reflecting upon my own journey and the journeys of many other successful people, what I have come to see is that they understand where they stand today. Reality on reality’s terms. Nobody is coming to rescue them, and it is all incumbent upon them to “make it happen.” This is both terrifying and liberating.
Then they have a goal. It may be pie in the sky, a dream, maybe even a fantasy — but they can picture in their mind’s eye what they want their redeemed life to look like.
Here is the cold and dark reality that is never really talked about in honesty, but only through revisionist history and storytelling. The person on the path of redemption hasn’t a clue how to get to that point in their life. What they do know is that effort will work over non-effort. That trying feels better than not trying. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of luck will come their way.